To every Ernie there is Bert.
To every Bert there is an Ernie.
What the heck am I talking about?? How is this about inner dialogue? Well, let me elaborate.
Last week I was away with friends and we got to talking about relationships.
One of my friends said: my boyfriend always tells me that I am the one in charge of the structure and routine in our family and he only adds a little good atmosphere.
One of my other friends said she recently heard someone say: there is a Bert and an Ernie in every relationship.
You know, there’s always one of the two who’s the funny, less serious one. The one who’s most relaxed & carefree. Aka. Ernie.
The other partner is more of a Bert: the one who sees the necessity of structure, the one who’s a little more negative, strict, cautious.
You get my drift, right?
Well, that got us all talking and thinking out loud.
Are we the Bert or the Ernie in our relationship?
And how does that work with our siblings? Or at work? d
Do we play the Bert or the Ernie role? What I found, is that there is always a balance.
In my relationship I’m usually more of an Ernie, whereas in the relationship with my sister I’m definitely the Bert.
We all agreed that, beside it being kinda funny, there is a Bert and Ernie living in all of us. We are a little of both, depending what situation we’re in.
Business coaching insight
Today, in the middle of my business coaching
, me being the coachee, we got to talking about Bert and Ernie again. They seem to be everywhere these days. 😉
In this case it was about how our inner voices control us. We all have 2 inner voices talking to us. One voice lets us set commitments, formulate them in a specific, measurable, inspiring and motivating way. The other voice tells us to be cautious, tells us we might not be able to do what we’re planning here. Or that it might not be smart to go that route. Sometimes we listen to our first, enthusiastic voice and get far. Other times, we try our best, but the second, cautious voice takes over and pulls the breaks.
You could say that you have a conscious and an unconscious voice. Because, for example, on one hand you really, consciously want to own a big car. On the other hand, deep down, you don’t have it yet because you feel you are not worthy of it, you don’t deserve it.
So, to revert that to Bert and Ernie: Your inner Ernie wants the big car. He tries everything he can to get/buy/own that big car. All the while though, your inner Bert has been telling your inner Ernie he doesn’t deserve that car, he needs to have money and a driving license first. Will Ernie end up with the car? Nope. Will you? Nope.
Get Bert and Ernie to work FOR you
So how can we get our inner Bert and Ernie to work FOR us??
That’s the 100dollar question, right?
Well, I’ll tell you. BOTH Bert AND Ernie need to agree on wanting that car. Only then will you actually get/buy/own it. Bert needs to be in on the idea of a big car. He needs to feel good about that car. Bert needs to want it as much as Ernie.
And please know: neither Bert or Ernie are good or bad. They both have a point. You are allowed to want a big car. It’s ok that it makes you feel happy. And, also true, it might not be safe for you to own and drive that car without a license or by getting yourself in debt…
What is relevant in this for me, is the awareness of the two voices in my head. And the fact that I’ve given them names that I can relate to. So that they can help me identify what areas I need to work on.
When I take a stand that I will make 5 successful sales calls this week and at the end of the week I haven’t even picked up the phone once, it means I let my inner Bert take over. And that I need to work on myself on a deeper level. What has Bert been telling me this week? What can I see now? How can I get Bert to help me make these calls next week?
Do you recognize this inner dialogue? The Bert and Ernie – level of your inner dialogue?
If you’d like help getting Bert on board with all of Ernie’s wild plans, don’t hesitate to contact
Have a good day! 🙂
Everything is a choice.